Jezebel-
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Clips
Andy Samberg's Rahm Emanuel: "To Anyone Thinking About Crossing Me: I Will F***king End You."
For some reason, SNL chose to run crap sketches last night instead of testing out Andy Samberg's Rahm Emanuel impression. The reason, most likely, is the language: Samberg's Emanuel starts out as calm and collected before going off into a "profanity-laced tirade" that includes a hilarious dig at Joe Lieberman: "If it was up to me, we wouldn't just strip you of your chairmanship, we would strip you naked and make you walk your McCain-loving-ass back to Connecticut, you f****ing turncoat." Clip after the jump. More » -
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Rules For Fools
11 Things He Wants From You: Shut Up, Go Down, And Smile
Erik Parker wants to help us, ladies. He knows we're all just dying to know what it takes to keep men happy, so he's laying it out there as best he can, listing the "11 Things He Wants From You," a list of basics that he deems essential to the survival of any relationship. "Guys can be needy," Parker says, "So here’s a compilation of the thoughts and acts that will require minimal sacrifice on your part while bringing us untold pleasure. Read it, learn it, try it. Thank you." Oh I read it, Erik Parker. It's the same stupid list we've been getting for the past 20 years: Men love their sports teams! Men want you to go down on them in a super enthusiastic way! Men need their bro-time, bro! Reading the list is a bit like reading a receipt from Stereotypes R'Us. A look at a few of Parker's requests, with some advice of our own attached, after the jump. More » -
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Clips
SNL: The Blizz Takes On T-Pain
Let's face it: last night's Saturday Night Live was pretty bad. Continuing the dark and creepy direction they took off in last week, the SNL crew took us through a weird skit sequence that involved a mentally ill woman putting super-glue on her teeth, fur-covered turkeys running for their lives, and the worst character the show has tried to push on us in a long time, Jeff Montgomery, sex offender/mental patient, showing up to ruin a family's thanksgiving and creep out the audience. Host Tim McGraw read the cue cards and tried to make the best out of some pretty weak material, but the real highlight came from musical guests Ludacris and T-Pain, who showed up to participate in one of the only funny skits of the night, wherein Andy Samberg's "Blizzard Man" shows up to perform his terrible raps and replace T-Pain on a song, much to T-Pain's dismay. Clip after the jump. More » -
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Dirt Bag
Lindsay Lohan: Might Be Drinking, Can't Stop Blogging
- Lindsay Lohan won't stop blogging on her MySpace page, because she feels it proves she's not an "empty" person: "There's a person in here. And I have feelings too, whether it's about politics, the person I'm seeing, the person I'm not seeing. That's my way of connecting. I don't want people to think that I'm just an empty f**king whatever." [ONTD]
- Meanwhile, it appears that Lilo may have been caught drinking on camera. [ONTD]
- Desperate Housewives start Nicollette Sheridan hooked up with David Spade at her 45th birthday party on Friday night; a source claims the pair "were full-on making out in a booth."[People]
- Rory Gilmore's hero, Christiane Amanpour, is a big fan of Angelina Jolie. "Angelina does an amazing job in terms of her capacity to highlight issues and problems around the world and with her humanitarian and human rights work," Amanpour says. [US Magazine]
- Madonna is handling her divorce by focusing on her music and her children and reaching out to old friends like ex-husband Sean Penn. A source, who claims that Madonna is "not heartbroken" over the divorce, says that the Penn-Madonna relationship is purely platonic: "There's nothing romantic there. They're just good friends." [People]
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Saturday Night Live Thread
Live From Jezebel, It's Saturday Night!
After last week's slightly insane episode, which brought us the dreamy Paul Rudd, a cameo from Justin Timberlake, and a slightly darker tone than we saw during the elections (so much blood!), it's clear that the SNL crew is looking beyond the political skits that shaped the show over the past six months and on to weirder, more experimental things. We still haven't seen much from the two new female SNL cast members: perhaps we'll finally get to see them in action tonight. The Obama-casting rumors have been floating around this week as well, though there's been no official confirmation that any of the potential Obamas have been (or will be) cast. So what will the SNL crew spoof this week? Will we see any new characters? Any Twilight parodies? Will Tim McGraw actually be funny? Let's all tune in together and find out. -
Reminders
Don't forget to check back for tonight's SNL live thread! Tonight's episode is hosted by Tim McGraw and features musical guests Ludacris and T-Pain, which is a bit strange, considering that McGraw is perhaps best known for his music. Will Tim, Luda, and T-Pain hit the stage together? Will we finally get to see the new ladies of Saturday Night Live in action? Will one of the actors who reportedly auditioned to replace Fred Armisen as SNL's Obama take the stage tonight? We'll have to watch together and find out. See you then! -
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The Name Game
Celebrity Baby Names: Creativity Or A Curse?
Welcome to the world, Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Your parents and grandparents and Auntie Jessica are undoubtedly thrilled at your arrival, as they should be. The rest of the universe, however, isn't reacting to your birth announcement with the same type of glee. We may never know you, Bronx Mowgli Wentz, though we'll undoubtedly see your pictures in random paparazzi shots over the next few years: Bronx walks! Bronx eats! Bronx to Suri: You Know What You Did taking up the covers of various tabloids. But your parents, in choosing your moniker, have ensured that the first reaction the public has had to your presence on this earth hasn't been an "aww" or a "congrats" or even a "how sweet!" It has, instead, been a resounding "WTF is up with that name?" More » -
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Epic Failin'
Sarah Palin, Superstar
Like Clay Aiken, Jennifer Hudson, and Chris Daughtry, Sarah Palin may not have won one of America's biggest competitions, but her loser-status seems to opening doors all over the place. Book deals, movie roles, and talk show appearances are all in the works for Governor Palin, who, free from the restrictions that kept her from giving actual press conferences during the Presidential campaign, seems to be relishing the chance to reintroduce herself to the American public. Remember how we all thought she'd disappear after the election? And remember when Tina Fey, prophet that she is, looked directly into the camera during her final appearance as Sarah Palin on SNL and said, "I'm not goin' anywhere. And I'm certainly not goin' back to Alaska. If I'm not goin' to the White House, I'm either runnin' in four years or I'm gonna be a white Oprah so, you know, I'm good either way." Well, it turns out that Tina was right. Welcome to PalinMania, Part Deux: Sarah The Celebrity. More » -
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Sad Panda!
Though we all love pictures and videos of adorable pandas, it is probably best to remember that beyond the cuteness, pandas are still wild animals who have no desire to become our personal teddy bears. A college student in southern China found out the hard way: after sneaking into the panda's enclosure to try to snag a panda hug, the student, identified only as Liu, received a number of bites on his arms and legs from the panda, Yang Yang, who was not happy with the student for invading his pen. "Yang Yang was so cute and I just wanted to cuddle him," Liu told reporters as he lay in the hospital, "I didn't expect he would attack... I don't remember how many bites I got." Liu is expected to make a full recovery, though it's fairly certain he won't be looking to nom nom any real pandas again anytime soon.[BBC News] -
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Sincerely, You Guys
Where's Our Stand By Me?
With Twilight driving teenage girls across the country insane this weekend, the character of Bella Swan has cemented herself (whether we like it or not) among the ranks of teenage heroines who appear to embody the angst, confusion, and general weirdness of adolescence. It's an easy character for us to tear apart, but the fact is that for whatever reason, Bella Swan speaks to young girls the way that Lydia Deets, Veronica Sawyer, and Samantha Baker spoke to us. It's hard to argue, however, that Twilight is the best thing we can offer adolescent girls. The truth is that there's always been a lack of films that really capture what it's like to be a young girl these days; many of them are watered down or exaggerated to the point where even child actresses can be pegged in the standard roles of hookers, doormats, and manic pixie dream girls. I recently came home to find my boyfriend sitting in front of the television, watching Stand By Me, which led me to wonder: Where is our coming-of-age movie? More »
New York, 1:42 PM
Sun Nov 23
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