The Sound of Music
Written By Rani Arbo
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How does a musician mom get her toddler in tune with the joy of making music? She puts down her fiddle, grabs a plastic drum, and joins him in a beginners' class.
My 2 1/2-year-old son, Quinn, is the victim of an uncommon affliction: two parents who make music for a living. The poor kid has averaged one U.S. state for every month of his life and has endured countless rehearsals, shows, and babysitters. He likes to set up Dad's drum set, which is charming. My husband and I have been making music with him since the day he was born. Did we hope he'd learn to love it? Of course. Has he? That depends entirely on the packaging.
Here's a snapshot of our living room on one rainy afternoon:
"Put the fiddle down," Quinn orders.
"What if I play a really fast song?" I offer. "And you can dance?"
"No fiddle. No guitar!" he escalates, stalling my arm on its hopeful way.
"Do you want to sing?" "No singing. Help Froggy watch me play with trains."
I give in without argument. Half an hour later, Quinn flashes me a coy grin and says, "Should we make music?"
Moral of the afternoon: Let him run the band. Ditch the fiddle, which perhaps to Quinn plays only one song: "Mom Is Working." Watch him, copy him, lob him ideas — but do not make him put his fingers over the holes in the recorder. Find a way (how?) to play music with Quinn and let him own it. Find help.
A music class, I thought, might be the tonic we both needed. Not an instrument-centered one, like the classical cello lessons I'd slogged to beginning at age 7. (The best thing about those days was that on the way to music school my mom and I passed a bakery that made a mean raspberry jelly doughnut — my reward for hauling my cello five New York City blocks every week.) Quinn was way too young for formal lessons; without a longer attention span and basic music skills, he'd just be frustrated. Instead, I thought we'd try one of those folksy classes I'd been hearing about ever since I became a mom: playful, no-pressure sessions that partner kids 5 and under with their parents for music and movement.
Friends had shared good reports on local teachers of both Kindermusik and Music Together, the two big national programs; unfortunately, I'd also heard some of the take-home CDs at playdates, and frankly, they terrified me. Much of the music was alarmingly twinkly, with wobbly sopranos, glockenspiels, and lots of barking, chirping, and meowing. The songs themselves, however, weren't so bad (it's hard to argue with "Li'l Liza Jane"), and I was up for anything new: new music, new space, new kids, new moms, new teacher, new ideas. In a leap of faith, I signed us up for both Kindermusik and Music Together classes. What can I say? I like music.
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